Three little Monkeys

Three little Monkeys

Sunday, December 17, 2017

That Baby In the Manger

What’s Your Reason

We’ve all heard it; Jesus is the reason for the season. Away in a manger, no crib for his bed, the little Lord Jesus lay down his sweet head…. We’ve all sung it….. But, do we really get it? DO WE REALLY GET WHAT CHRISTMAS IS ALL ABOUT?

As an adult, I always struggle around Christmas. I have plans of what I am going to do with the kids to make sure we celebrate “The Reason for the Season.” I think as parents, we all struggle with doing the “right” thing and then struggle with “who are we doing it for.” For example, we are in Church every Sunday morning unless there is a sickness or we are out of town. We don’t miss church just because we don’t feel like going. That being said, I can promise you there are SO MANY days we get ready and show up because “it’s what we are supposed to do.” We sit through service while checking off our grocery list, making notes for what needs to be done later in the day, or making a plan for the week etc…. Some Sunday’s, we pull out of the parking lot and I don’t even look back on what I heard. I just continue my day as is it was a box I checked off for the week.
These past few weeks, I can hear Him in my heart and head…. How can you celebrate “The reason for the season” when you aren’t even putting me first every day? That hurt to type. I AM A CHRISTIAN. I GO TO CHURCH. I TEACH SUNDAY SCHOOL. 3 OF MY 4 KIDS HAVE ACCEPTED JESUS AS THEIR SAVIOR. I LOVE JESUS….. But I hear it. It is LOUD AND CLEAR. Kendall, how in the world can you find peace at Christmas, trying to teach your kids it is all about ME and you don’t live it out. Outside looking in, you got it together girl. You do everything you are “supposed” to do. And in reality, it is nothing at all. It is nothing when I step back and look at “the reason for the season.”
You always hear the analogy, “God loves us more than our parents could ever love us.” Ok, that sounds nice. But as a parent, I know how my heart literally aches for my children. Then I think about the one who created me, put me on this earth, gave me the most amazing husband, and these precious little souls that are my children. What do I do with all of that? I take it like I deserve it. I take it like it was mine to have in the first place. I take their health and well-being and I walk around with it like there is no one to thank for it. I       AM A CHRISTIAN. I GO TO CHURCH. I TEACH SUNDAY SCHOOL…. BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH. Who cares. I can hear Him saying, “Kendall, it is not about what you are, where you go, or what you do. I just want you.”

When I think about my own children, I think, what if they said to me,  “mama, I go to school, I make good grades, I stay out of trouble, I help other people, I do good things… but I don’t want to make time to be with you.” DEVASTATED I TELL YOU. I WOULD BE DEVASTATED. This is exactly what we tell HIM. When we decide Church isn’t where we want to be on Sunday (only if you are showing up to hear the word and not make your grocery list.) We are telling HIM this when we aren’t investing HIS WORD in our children every single day. We are telling HIM this when we aren’t leading by example to our kids. We are telling HIM this when we allow ourselves to put everything else life has to offer in front of HIM. We are telling HIM this when we look at these precious souls that he has given us and take them like we deserve them.
I have friends that go to church every time the doors open and they WORSHIP HIS HOLY NAME. I also have friends that don’t go to church, and they still WORSHIP HIS HOLY NAME. This isn’t about going to church. You will never find your happiness in the Church. They are just people with flaws like the rest of the world. This is about finding your relationship with Jesus and hearing HIM, and obeying HIM. How many times do we have problems that we try to fix on our own? Every Day. How many times to we fall to our knees and beg HIM to open the truth to us? Not often enough. I love Jesus. When I say His name, it makes my heart ache like it does when I think about my kids. But the difference is,  I DO for my kids.

That Baby in the manger wasn’t put there so we would all have a story to tell. That baby was put there for US. He was born to die.   The angel told Joseph, “For He shall save His people from their sins.” Jesus wasn’t surprised by this. He knew he was born to die. Christmas really isn’t about this cute little baby born in a manger. The salvation isn’t in his birth. Jesus came to earth to reveal God to us. To teach us the truth, to offer us His kingdom, and to show us how to live and show God’s love. But those little hands and feet would one day be the same hands and feet that would have nails driven into them, so we could have life. And every single day, I take that for granted.
So, this Christmas I am challenging myself. I don’t want to just tell the story anymore… I want to live the story. I want my kids to LOVE HIM and I want them to see me LOVE HIM. Not because “it’s what we are supposed to do” but because “Mama loves him so much, she can’t help herself.”  

Friday, December 15, 2017

Daughters

When I started typing this, all I could think of was John Mayer's song, "Daughters." 

Fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers be good to your daughters too


When Sydney was about 16 months old (right before I had Preston), she began giving us a run for our money. She was always on Sydney's time, doing what Sydney felt like she needed to do. When she was not happy about a situation, all she needed to do was pop two paci's in her mouth, while hold a third and flipping the nipple with her finger. You knew life was about to go down... Isn't that silly? I was intimidated by a 16 month old. She did this until she was about 3. I remember thinking, "I thought girls were supposed to be easier than boys!!!" 


As Sydney has gotten older, some of her strong willed traits have stayed as strong as they were the day she flipped her pacis. But a lot of her personality has softened up. I see myself in her every single day. I am pretty sure I was (and maybe still am) just as strong willed as she was (and is). When we butt heads, it's usually because I already know what she's thinking before she ever gets there. But man, I tell you.... I have fallen more in love with her every.single.day. So far, age 9 is going down as my favorite age.

Having three boys, I tend to put myself in a position where I am doing a lot of stuff for the boys. Sydney has taken the back seat quite often the past few years. She has always been there with us, but we've focused a lot of time on the boys activities. It is easier to bring a girl to a ball field than it is a boy to a pageant. It is easier to bring a girl to a basketball court than it is to bring three boys to a swim meet.... It is just honest and it is easier. Sometimes it is hard to do the hard things. Even though Sydney has participated in these things, the fuss has always been more about getting her to watch them than to get them to watch her. 

The other night,Sydney and I were talking and she asked me when she could do another pageant. I knew she had a good time, and I knew she had enjoyed all of the activities that have come with it, but I didn't think she would want to do another one. So, I asked why she liked it so much. Without hesitation, she held my hand and said, "because I loved having you to myself mama. And I loved it being just you and me." I let her know how much I loved that too. 


The past few months, it has been obvious that she has been drawn to me a little more than usual. She will ask me if her and I can do things alone, and tells me she enjoys being around me. MAMA'S,  let me say this.... soak it all in... Even though I don't ever remember a time I didn't want to be around my Mama, I know a time will come when I am aggravating to her.  I know one day, I will reach over to snuggle her close at night, and she will not want me in her bed. And I know in about 9 years from now, I will walk in her room and the mess won't be there and the bed will be made and instead I will have to call her while she is away at college. 


I have a tendency to NOT live in the moment. I let life get me frazzled and I get caught up in our day and I am not always remembering to just STOP and soak in what I have in front of me. But I am trying. I am trying to be more aware that these days with her (and my boys) are fleeting and one day, there will be no little girl to take to softball or a swim meet. There will be no little girl to ask me to lay her down, or braid her hair or to go through the starbucks drive through so she can get a frozen drink she won't even like. One day, she will be writing something like this about her little girl, and I hope she remembers how to love because SHE was loved. 


My Mama is by far the best Mama that God ever made. (sorry folks, you probably thought yours was.) She cuddled me, scratched my back, went through Bojangles to get a large french fry to share with me at 9pm at night, just because I asked her to. She would ride me around to see all of my friends, let me have endless sleepovers and she never cared about the mess we made. I believe that is why I always love being with her, and I have never been tired of her. She had rules, but she and my daddy made life fun... Never stressful.... and NEVER EVER EVER EVER let "life" and the stresses of life get ahead of how they loved us. I pray every day to be that parent to my kids. I pray even more so that Sydney feels that way about me one day. Even though I fail daily at being her Mama, she is so forgiving, and she is the best daughter I could have ever asked for. I will continue to strive to be the Mama that she will one day want to be too. 


Fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers be good to your daughters too








Monday, July 31, 2017

Middle School... and all the emotions that come with it....

Last night was a pretty restless night... Cole was anxious about a new school year, a new school,  new friends, and all of the possibilities that come with middle school. Will he know where home room is? Will he know how to change his schedule? Will he know where his new classes are when he changes his schedule? What if he misses the bus home??? Finally, he fell asleep, only to wake up at 6am telling me he needed to start his day.

My anxiety was over some of the same things, but mostly over watching this time pass us by so very fast! Will he still want to tell me things? Will he still want me to tuck him in at night? Will he still want that one last hug? Will he hold my hand on the way to school? Will he grow up as fast as he has already grown up? How do parents do this? How do they grow with them? I mean... I JUST dropped him off for his first day of kindergarten! See! Remember this! It was JUST YESTERDAY!



Today was a little different... I didn't get to walk him in, or wave good bye! He was ready before 7 and pacing the floor. My Cole is so handsome. He makes me so happy. He is so responsible, He loves his friends, he loves his family, he loves Jesus... He just Loves... and I love him. This beautiful beautiful boy stole my heart almost 12 years ago. He still steals it Every.Single.Day... How did I ever get so lucky? I will never know... But I do know that I spent a majority of my day thinking about him and wondering what he would be doing next. I can't wait to get him off of the school bus. I am sure he will be a little more confident as each day passes.

Mama's.... Don't blink. Don't let a day go by wishing you would have done something differently. Just do it. Before you know it, you will be sending them off to the next stage of their lives and wondering how it all passed you by.





Wednesday, July 26, 2017

I Love You More.....

We choose our reactions. That kind of hurts... We choose our reactions...I am the first to fly off of the handle over spilled milk. I am the first to see upside down mattresses in a room of laughter and immediately start losing my cool over who did it and why it was done. I am the first to take out my bad days on Chad when he walks in the door. I am the first to say NO when one of my kids asks me to do something at bedtime.... I choose my reaction...I choose to let life get in the way of living most days. I have to talk myself out of saying NO often. I choose to let one inconvenience ruin my day. I choose to say Yes when I should have said NO and become easily overwhelmed. I then, in turn, make my inconvenience my family's  problem. I choose my reactions...

Clearly this has been on my mind a lot lately. I tend to analyze and over analyze. But one thing I believe I could never analyze too much is, how can I be a better mom/wife/friend... How can I teach my children to be better siblings/children/friends.... How can I teach them not to let life get in the way of living.... These are things I often wonder... I have been trying to make a conscientious effort to be better at choosing my reactions... I haven't mastered it, especially when it comes to taking out my bad days on Chad...But I am doing all I know how. I often tell myself to relax, leave the beds unmade, the dishes can wait... My brain doesn't work that way. It just doesn't. So instead, I have invited my kids into my madness, and it has been a ride. I have loved watching Tate crack eggs while helping me cook, watching Preston say he doesn't know how to make a bed, while making it to perfection. Watching Sydney measure out just enough water for the rice, and watching Cole straighten up messes he didn't even make. They love the time with me, and they love that my reaction is thankful, not harsh. But there are things I want them to always know...

I will choose to LOVE YOU MORE than the messes you make.

I will choose to LOVE YOU MORE than my bad days.


I will choose to LOVE YOU MORE than saying No to the memories we can make.



I will choose to LOVE YOU MORE than doing the chores alone.

I pray I will teach you to choose to say I LOVE YOU MORE than being without you.



When you ask me to play in the water with you, I choose to LOVE YOU MORE than sitting out to watch.




I LOVE YOU MORE than the sands on the beach, the stars in the sky and counting to infinity, infinity times. 

We choose our reactions... WE CHOOSE OUR REACTIONS.... No one makes us react the way we do. We teach our children to own their actions, and we must too. We choose our reactions.... I choose to LOVE YOU MORE. 💗

Saturday, July 25, 2015

This Monkey is starting kindergarten! A day in the life...


I don't even have the words.... Where have the past 5 years gone? Why did they have to pass so fast? Preston will be starting kindergarten this next week. I am not sure how ready he is, but I know for sure I am NOT ready.....

He was the baby for 4 years, and even though Tate is here now, Preston knows he still hold a spot as the "baby." He milks it for all it is worth. How will I spend my days with him not right by my side driving me grey, making my veins bulge out of my forehead, laughing, cuddling, teaching and wondering how in the world he still has all of his bones intact...

He is my side kick, and I am going to miss this baby like CRAZY.
He makes our days interesting. I know many of my fb post are about him, what can I say?? He's a comedian.

A day in the life of Preston.....
Morning rise..... WHAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
What's wrong????
Cole Slapped me to wake me up!
What Mom??? He wouldn't move his legs from around my neck!
Preston climbs in bed right on top of Tate...
Preston, hunny.... you have to slide over...
I'm not sliding over. Make him slide over..
He can't slide over, he will fall off of the bed...
It's ok, the floor will catch him. I'm staying right here with you My Mommy. I love you Mommy. You are mine. I am your baby. Kiss my lips... WHOA! Mommy, your breath is like dookie bung hole bad! Brush your teeth!!!!

A few minutes later.... MOMMY!!!!
Yes, Sydney!
Mommy! Make Preston get out of my room. He put his butt in my face!
HAHAHA Yea! And I Farted on her! HAHAHA..
PRESTON! Get out of her room...
Ok Mommy, you want me to sit on you with my butt.
Preston... Seriously. Pull your pants up and go downstairs.

Breakfast...
Preston, stop looking at me
Preston, stop looking at me
PRESTON! Don't copy me!
PRESTON! Don't copy me!
MOM!
MOM!
UGHHHHHHH
Preston, stop copying your sister.
Preston, stop copying your sister.hehehehe
Mommy, you are laughing....

Boys, what are you doing? Are you jumping on the furniture?
No, I'm not, but I'm helping Tate jump on the furniture.
PRESTON! You can't pick him up!
Yes I can.... I just did. Watch, I'll do it again..
Preston, put him down...
Sorry Tate, Mommy doesn't like you.

Mommy, can you hold me?
Of course I can. Are you tired?
No, I just love you and want you.
Ok, come here.
Mommy, can we sit in Daddy's chair.
Well, ok. Just for a minute. I can't sit too long.
It's ok. I won't tell Daddy if you fall asleep with me.

Cole, why are screaming at Preston?
He won't get off of me.
We are just pretend wrestling....
NO WE AREN'T! YOU TACKLED ME!

Mommy, what are we eating for dinner?
I love what you cook. It is always good.
Mommy, I ate a bite, can I have ice cream now?

These days go on and on and on.......He is the funniest kid I know. He is full speed ahead from the minute he wakes up until the moment his head hits the pillow. He is so smart and I know he is going to do great in school.  This little comedian is a math genius and a great artist. He pays attention to details when coloring, yet has no idea his baby brother is standing in front of him while he is running from one room to another. What a joy it is to be his mommy.

To end, one of my most favorite things he still does and I pray he continues to for a while, is say this particular prayer every night before bed.

Heavenly Father, thank you for my Mommy and my Daddy and my brothers my sister and my dog (keep in mind, the dog died almost 2 years ago.)  Lord, thank you for everything you do for us and giving us everything we need. Please tell Dodger that we love him and we miss him and we wish he was here with us everyday. Lord, please help me do anything and everything I put my mind to. In Jesus name I pray, Amen....

I love you Preston Triplett...

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Friends, just when I thought my heart was full.... It became more full..

I can't believe this is my first time writing since May 6th.... 3 days before Tate Anthony Triplett entered this world a little after 12pm weighing in at 8 lbs and 13 oz...

Isn't he just beautiful.... Just beautiful. And perfect in every single way. After I delivered Tate, I remember looking at him and thinking... God's Plan is Always Bigger than ours. Here is a perfect example of him proving himself time and time again.... After Preston, our family was complete. I would see pregnant ladies and think..WHOAAAAA they are cute and they make me tired. Then on one September day in 2013, although Preston was cute, sweet and my baby....I found out he wasn't the last....
This little gift from God.... He makes me tear up just looking at him. God knew the desires of my heart ever since I was a  little girl. I knew I was born to be a Mama. You can ask my Mama. I wanted to be just like her. In every single way possible. I wanted to look like her, walk like her, talk like her.... And talk to my friends on the phone about "U CALL REFERRAL." That was a business my Mom and her best friend owned.... The only thing I wanted different was I wanted 4 kids instead of 3..... I am pretty sure when I met Chad I told him I wanted 4 kids. He says I wanted 5... If they were all as sweet as Tate, I would take 10.... But I digress.... After we got married, we had Cole, then Sydney, then Preston... Then I was tired. Exhausted.Worn out. I was working full time and trying to take care of 3 very small kids. Cole was 3.5 when Preston was born. Sydney was 17 months and I was in a whirlwind of just keeping my head above water.... I knew Preston would be the last one because first, the doctors told me I shouldn't have anymore kids. I had 3 c-sections and it wouldn't be safe to carry another child.... On top of that,  I wasn't getting younger and neither was Chad, and there was no way on God's Green Earth I could have had another one so close in age. So, we were happy and blessed and done....


I never thought about HAVING another baby after that. I was content with our 3 blessings... but I would sometimes wonder what it would be like to have the 4 I always imagined I would have.... Then I would get tired just thinking about it.... When Preston was 2 and 3 he would tell me he wanted a baby brother. I would laugh and tell him he was the baby. Well, God also knew the desires of that sweet boys heart too. These pictures of my kids holding Tate says it all... He completed us.... 

I don't know if it is because I am older, or because I am more aware of how time slips right by us.... But this time around has been so bitter sweet.... I have enjoyed every minute with him. Even through the cries and restless nights. I hold him and I just look at his precious face and I thank God for him. Every. Single. Time...... 

Do I feel like I am pulled in 4 different directions????? YEP. Every single day... Do the kids get upset because I have to tell them to hold on while I change his diaper or feed him??? YEP. Every single day. Am I split between 4 kids and a husband???? YEP. Every single day... But I love EVERY.SINGLE.MOMENT. Having Tate has made me appreciate my time with Cole, Sydney and Preston even more. When I had the first three, I was working outside of the home and we had a babysitter (more like a LIFESAVER) come to our home everyday. For me, (I insert a disclaimer here...... working moms rock and I was one for 5 years... we all handle our lives and families differently) I was worn out. I would work, get home at 5, feed the kids, play for a little bit, bathe them and put them to bed. I am such a scheduler that I very rarely STOPPED to enjoy the moments. I am a  list person... sometimes, my kids were part of my list. Once we decided I would not be going back to work, I realized I had my entire life on a list and it was time to get rid of the list and live in the moment with my kids. Soak up every moment I could with them. I feel like since having Tate, God gave me that chance back. I have been able to soak up the moments with him and remember all the moments with Cole, Sydney and Preston. I have been able to do away with my list and just try and enjoy all of the moments. Even the moments when they are fighting with each other... even when they are mad at me for making the best decisions for them....even when they ignore me and wear me slam out. Even when I look like death has run me over and decided to back up and run me over again... I thank God for allowing me to have this experience with these sweet blessings..
Psalms 20:4 May he give you the desires of your heart and make all your plans succeed.
Psalms 37:4 Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Jeremiah 1:5 Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.


My heart was full..... and when you were born, it became more full..... If I had to give one piece of advice to  any new mom, old mom, experienced mom, or a soon to be mom.... It would be to SOAK IT UP. EVERY MOMENT YOU CAN.... If you stay home or plan to stay home, take a break for your self every so often so you can soak it all up.. put away your phone, save the laundry for tomorrow and just soak it up.... If you work outside of the home, when you get home to your family.. don't put them on your list. Put away your phone, your computer, your really really bad day the laundry can wait.... and SOAK UP EVERY MINUTE YOU CAN. It doesn't matter if they are a new born, 8 years old, or 18 years old. Just soak it up. Love all over them. Let them know they matter, they are important, and they were made just for you.... 

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Trading Perfection for Peace- every Mama should....

A couple of years ago, I was watching the show "Secret Millionaire." There was a Millionaire named Ali Brown who's success was fascinating. I went on Facebook and liked her page. I can't say I was impressed with her past the show, but I still see her articles on my news feed. She is in her early 40's and recently had twins. She is a entrepreneur who went from Rags to Riches all because of her determination to succeed. On a post the other day, she spoke about how things have changed since having her twins and she said she has traded Perfection for Peace and has been even more successful by doing so.... I give this info as a basis for what triggered my thinking...

I wish I could say I had my first child and did the same. Just gave up all perfection and went with peace... Not so much... I'm not that brilliant. My OCD can take over in flash and I am so discombobulated that even the noise of someone saying my name can throw me into a tail spin... that's just honest. BUT I can say, I have gotten so much better. Especially in the past few months.

Perfection- the condition, state or quality of being free or as free as possible from all flaws or defects..
Peace- is a stress-free state of security and calmness.

As a Mom, we strive for Perfection to often. So many things

contribute to our desires to have perfection. It goes deep....
  • you want your children to be the best at everything they do
  • you want to provide for your children and never see them suffer
  • you want to protect your children from outside influences and keep them in a "safe zone"
  • you want your house to be picture perfect.... floors clean, carpet vacuumed, dishes washed, clothes folded
  • you want to be perfect in making decisions for your children.... to or not to vaccinate.... to or not to let them eat Red Die 40... to or not to let them explore outdoors alone.... to or not to let them watch tv.... to or not to push them to play sports...

The list goes on and on and on... We question ourselves... Are we doing right by our kids? Are we doing right by God? Are we doing right by our husbands, friends, family etc..... Then of course there is social media. Parents posting Terrific Kid Awards, children potty training at 10 months old, Hard stances on I believe you should or shouldn't  -------- fill in the blank... Or I would NEVER------- fill in the blank... (actually my favorite is "I would NEVER send my kids to a public school" when the parent has one kid who is 6 months old and only attended private school themselves...as if their decision should be EVERY ONE'S decision...... I don't mean to digress.) Although no one is "judging" because "I would never judge.... I am holier than thou!" and that blog I just posted where the author bashed a certain group of people and I liked it and shared it.... that's not me judging.. Just trying to justify why I make the decisions I do for my family.... Even though no one really cares. No one should really care... It is your family... Who are we trying to impress or convince??? Who is it that really counts when we are trying to justify or convince or impress?

I am just as guilty as the next. Several months back, I actually quit reading blogs that people would post if it seemed to be one I wouldn't research on my own. If it looks as though it could possibly instill one ounce of fear in me for the decisions I am making for my family...Scroll right by them... and I never look back.

When I saw that Ali had found more success in trading Perfection for Peace, I thought.... BRILLIANT.  BRILLIANT. BRILLIANT! This is my new Goal. As I sit right now, I have clothes that are folded and sitting on my couch.... I don't plan on touching them until the kids get home and they can put theirs up. I usually would have vacuumed, made beds, put up clothes and wiped down the kitchen counters by now... I'm not saying that the clothes are the only thing left to do today... could be, couldn't be... but I am saying, Who do I do it for anyway? Other than keeping my family and life in order. Who do I care to impress that my house is clean? No one.... not even myself....

There is only one that I care to impress.... GOD. And HE doesn't instill these fears in us. He just wants US. He wants our time and our attention. The time I spend vacuuming a floor, I could be in his Word. Or the time I spend fearing that I just gave my child something that will send him into a tantrum (RED DIE 40), I could have been praising God for the child I have to feed.... Of course God wants us to take care of our "temples"... He tells us so in the bible, but No where does he say, you have disappointed me by not being Perfect. He doesn't say, shame on you for making this decision for your child... he says "Come to me just as you are."

Cole told me the other day after I fussed at Sydney for not listening... "Mommy, she isn't perfect.. None of us are perfect... Only Jesus is perfect and we will never be Him." He always has the wisest words... But he is right. We will never be Perfect.

Mama's... we need to release Perfection for Peace. Release the fears and guilt of not being perfect enough and rest in the fact that we have Peace through HIM and HE is who matters. Are we neglecting HIM while chasing perfection? Are we forsaking precious time to be in the word for a quick vacuum? Or for a quick post of perfection on FB?

I am praying that I can be successful in this change. Only through him though....

2 Thessalonian 3:16- Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times in every way. The Lord be with you all

1 Peter 5:7- Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.

Romans 15:13- May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.

Isaiah 12:2- Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and will not be afraid; for the Lord God is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation


Being Perfect enough for God is absurd, so I am choosing to be at Peace with HIM..