A couple of years ago, I was watching the show "Secret Millionaire." There was a Millionaire named Ali Brown who's success was fascinating. I went on Facebook and liked her page. I can't say I was impressed with her past the show, but I still see her articles on my news feed. She is in her early 40's and recently had twins. She is a entrepreneur who went from Rags to Riches all because of her determination to succeed. On a post the other day, she spoke about how things have changed since having her twins and she said she has traded Perfection for Peace and has been even more successful by doing so.... I give this info as a basis for what triggered my thinking...
I wish I could say I had my first child and did the same. Just gave up all perfection and went with peace... Not so much... I'm not that brilliant. My OCD can take over in flash and I am so discombobulated that even the noise of someone saying my name can throw me into a tail spin... that's just honest. BUT I can say, I have gotten so much better. Especially in the past few months.
Perfection- the condition, state or quality of being free or as free as possible from all flaws or defects..
Peace- is a stress-free state of security and calmness.
As a Mom, we strive for Perfection to often. So many things
contribute to our desires to have perfection. It goes deep....
- you want your children to be the best at everything they do
- you want to provide for your children and never see them suffer
- you want to protect your children from outside influences and keep them in a "safe zone"
- you want your house to be picture perfect.... floors clean, carpet vacuumed, dishes washed, clothes folded
- you want to be perfect in making decisions for your children.... to or not to vaccinate.... to or not to let them eat Red Die 40... to or not to let them explore outdoors alone.... to or not to let them watch tv.... to or not to push them to play sports...
The list goes on and on and on... We question ourselves... Are we doing right by our kids? Are we doing right by God? Are we doing right by our husbands, friends, family etc..... Then of course there is social media. Parents posting Terrific Kid Awards, children potty training at 10 months old, Hard stances on I believe you should or shouldn't -------- fill in the blank... Or I would NEVER------- fill in the blank... (actually my favorite is "I would NEVER send my kids to a public school" when the parent has one kid who is 6 months old and only attended private school themselves...as if their decision should be EVERY ONE'S decision...... I don't mean to digress.) Although no one is "judging" because "I would never judge.... I am holier than thou!" and that blog I just posted where the author bashed a certain group of people and I liked it and shared it.... that's not me judging.. Just trying to justify why I make the decisions I do for my family.... Even though no one really cares. No one should really care... It is your family... Who are we trying to impress or convince??? Who is it that really counts when we are trying to justify or convince or impress?
I am just as guilty as the next. Several months back, I actually quit reading blogs that people would post if it seemed to be one I wouldn't research on my own. If it looks as though it could possibly instill one ounce of fear in me for the decisions I am making for my family...Scroll right by them... and I never look back.
When I saw that Ali had found more success in trading Perfection for Peace, I thought.... BRILLIANT. BRILLIANT. BRILLIANT! This is my new Goal. As I sit right now, I have clothes that are folded and sitting on my couch.... I don't plan on touching them until the kids get home and they can put theirs up. I usually would have vacuumed, made beds, put up clothes and wiped down the kitchen counters by now... I'm not saying that the clothes are the only thing left to do today... could be, couldn't be... but I am saying, Who do I do it for anyway? Other than keeping my family and life in order. Who do I care to impress that my house is clean? No one.... not even myself....
There is only one that I care to impress.... GOD. And HE doesn't instill these fears in us. He just wants US. He wants our time and our attention. The time I spend vacuuming a floor, I could be in his Word. Or the time I spend fearing that I just gave my child something that will send him into a tantrum (RED DIE 40), I could have been praising God for the child I have to feed.... Of course God wants us to take care of our "temples"... He tells us so in the bible, but No where does he say, you have disappointed me by not being Perfect. He doesn't say, shame on you for making this decision for your child... he says "Come to me just as you are."
Cole told me the other day after I fussed at Sydney for not listening... "Mommy, she isn't perfect.. None of us are perfect... Only Jesus is perfect and we will never be Him." He always has the wisest words... But he is right. We will never be Perfect.
Mama's... we need to release Perfection for Peace. Release the fears and guilt of not being perfect enough and rest in the fact that we have Peace through HIM and HE is who matters. Are we neglecting HIM while chasing perfection? Are we forsaking precious time to be in the word for a quick vacuum? Or for a quick post of perfection on FB?
I am praying that I can be successful in this change. Only through him though....
2 Thessalonian 3:16- Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times in every way. The Lord be with you all
1 Peter 5:7- Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.
Romans 15:13- May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.
Isaiah 12:2- Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and will not be afraid; for the Lord God is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation
Being Perfect enough for God is absurd, so I am choosing to be at Peace with HIM..