New Beginnings

It is 10pm, and I have just finished packing lunches, and getting all the things ready for school tomorrow. We are heading into some new beginnings for all of the little Triplett's. Tomorrow is the first day of school for Cole, Sydney, and Preston. Tate starts school on Thursday for half of a day and full time on Monday. This will be Sydney's first day of Middle School, it will be the first day that Cole gets to enjoy having his sister with him at Middle School, it will also be the first day that Preston has ever been in school without his sister. Although this week will also be Tate's first day of kindergarten, there will be three days when Preston is at school as the only Triplett child. :) But have no fear- Tate will roll in on Thursday and they won't forget what hit them.

How has the time gone by so fast? How is it time for Sydney to go to middle school? How is it time for Tate to go to kindergarten? How am I not 29 anymore? How How How? I have thought about so much today. I was folding clothes and every item I picked up, I thought, "thank you Lord for giving me these children." I have talked about this in the past, but I am really bad at counting down things and knowing how much time we have left together. So, of course, I started wondering about all of the things I have gotten wrong or right, and I just pray that they take the "right" things with them as they enter those doors and meet new friends. I also pray that their teachers see in them the same things I know about all four of them and these are just a few-

He is an amazing brother, she is as beautiful on the inside as she is the outside, he always wants to show you his best, he is super competitive, he is genuine, she is the best friend, he is sensitive, he is always listening, he is a people pleaser, she is an overthinker, he is determined, he is energetic, he is responsible, she is sociable, he is thoughtful, he is assertive, he is calm, she is artistic, he is articulate, he is fearless, he is strong, she is devoted, he is courageous, he is spunky, he is understanding, she is dependable, he is wise, he is engaging, he is who gave me life when he was born, she is who brings me up when I feel down, he is who makes me laugh when I am not sure I can laugh anymore, and he is who gives me compliments when I don't feel like there are any to receive. They are all amazing and wonderful and perfect for me. I look at each and every one of them and just thank God for choosing me to be their Mom. I pray that their friends and teachers will see all of these wonderful traits in them. I pray they appreciate them as much as I do.

I will always be their biggest fan. I will always be there to remind them they are fearfully and wonderfully made. I will always need them as much as they need me. But on this day of first, I will send them off and anxiously await their return to hear about their new normal.

The Journey of a Year- Preston's Walk with Perthes..

One year ago today... June 13th, 2018..... On June 11th, 2018 Chad, Preston and I left for Baltimore. Every time I see a memory from last year, my heart sinks a little. We were all in survival mode. I feel like I can't catch my breath when I see things like the meal train that was set up, friends who sent me messages asking if they could stop by because they had gifts for our family, and pictures of Preston on his crutches with a smile on his face...just knowing under that smile was a lot of pain, seeing pictures of the day of surgery and amazing leaders in our church who drove all the way to Baltimore just to see us... .... One year ago today, this Mama and Daddy woke up with great hope that we could fix the pain for Preston.

This journey has been full of emotions that take you high and low. My main goal was to give Preston his childhood back. I will be honest and say that through all of the praying I did, I also did a lot of demanding to God. I told him what we were going to do. I begged him that he stayed on my plan and didn't have a different one for Preston. I went in to complete planning mode. I remember crying when I would slow down, but I think I have done more crying this week than I did the entire last year. It sneaks up on me too. I will see Preston walking down the hallway and his limp is barely there, it makes me gasp and thank God he allowed us this opportunity.

I know God gave me a lot of grace last year. I know he heard my heart and knew that I was so angry. He is such a merciful God.... because if I were Him, I would have been ashamed of me. I told him exactly what I needed to happen. I told him Preston couldn't handle the pain of not being able to do all of the things little boys love to do.... Reality was, I didn't think I could handle watching him learn to do new things while watching other kids do the things Preston loved to do. Preston is ultimately God's child and God knows what Preston could and couldn't do. I am so thankful that he didn't choose to teach me this lesson at Preston's expense.

So here we are a year later. We are past the external fixator, we are past the removal, we are past the non-weight bearing, we are past the no running and no jumping, we are past going to Physical therapy a few times a week and now are a few times a month. We are now at a point where Preston still has pain, but nothing like he had, We are now at a point where Preston was able to be on the basketball court and baseball field, even if it wasn't how he used to be. And we are most certainly at a point where on a daily basis I am screaming, "Preston! Stop running! Stop chasing your brother around the house!!!" We are at a point where I hear the basketball in the driveway bouncing and I look out the window to see he and his brother's throwing a baseball to each other. Thank GOD this is where we are.

I never would have imagined this is where we would be one year later, but it is exactly where I begged God to let us be. What a merciful merciful God he is.

The End of an Era- and I'm Not Crying...

Ok, Ok, so maybe I am just a little bit... but honestly, I am digging deep for these emotions. Don't think I am a bad parent because of this, instead know I am just being really real.

It is graduation time for Tate. He is the last baby Triplett in this house that will walk the halls of Pleasant Grove Baptist MMO, which is by far the best MMO program on this side of Wake County. He will be off to kindergarten in a few short months, and I will miss the little stinker. I will miss our short 15 minutes together between dropping off Sydney and Preston. I will miss running in at 1pm to see his little face smiling back at me and saying, "MAMA!" I will miss walking in and hearing, "Hey Tater Tot!" I will miss him coming home and telling me he got in trouble today, but it wasn't his fault. He didn't say any of those words..... I will miss it all,  but...... it is time. Maybe not time for him,  but it is time for this Era of my life to move forward.

We have been at this preschool thing for about 13 years.  I remember when I was little, my mama would say things like, "honey, I am too old to have long hair." Or "I would be too old to try and start a new job." Or, the one I relate to the most now is, "I am older than all of  those young mom's."  I used to think she was crazy when she would make all of these comments. I also thought she was crazy when she would look in the mirror and do lip exercises or act like she was pulling her skin up on her face and laugh and say, "I think I need a face lift!" Sorry for calling you out, Mama. But I get it now. Being 42 with a 13 year old, 11 year old, 9 year old and a 5 year old, I am ready to see what is next in this life of ours. I don't want to miss out on all the joys of having a 5 year old, so that is why I am excited we are moving along from pre-school and on to kindergarten.

One thing I have learned about myself is I am really really good at counting away the days. I can sit here now and think, "when Cole is 15, Tate will be 7... when Cole goes to high school, Tate will be in first grade..." so on and so on. I do it often... What I have been trying to do is live in the moment. Enjoy the time we are in. Not be sad about the future and not miss the past. This transition is proving to me that I am ok with where we are going and not going to dwell in where we have been. I am ready to see what my crazy 5 year old has in store for himself. I am ready to enjoy our summer filled with pool days, swim team practices, swinging bats, and all of the sweet compliments he gives me just to get his way. His sweet darling, pretty mama, best friend is ready to watch this boy do great things..

So all you Mama's out there who are with me, give yourself a pat on the back. There is no reason we can't admit that we are ready to move past the days of preschool and keep life going. It is ok if we look at pictures of the past and smile at who we were back then, but it is even healthier to smile at our future and love where we are at and where we are going!