Daughters

When I started typing this, all I could think of was John Mayer's song, "Daughters." 

Fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers be good to your daughters too

When Sydney was about 16 months old (right before I had Preston), she began giving us a run for our money. She was always on Sydney's time, doing what Sydney felt like she needed to do. When she was not happy about a situation, all she needed to do was pop two paci's in her mouth, while hold a third and flipping the nipple with her finger. You knew life was about to go down... Isn't that silly? I was intimidated by a 16 month old. She did this until she was about 3. I remember thinking, "I thought girls were supposed to be easier than boys!!!" 

As Sydney has gotten older, some of her strong willed traits have stayed as strong as they were the day she flipped her pacis. But a lot of her personality has softened up. I see myself in her every single day. I am pretty sure I was (and maybe still am) just as strong willed as she was (and is). When we butt heads, it's usually because I already know what she's thinking before she ever gets there. But man, I tell you.... I have fallen more in love with her every.single.day. So far, age 9 is going down as my favorite age.

Having three boys, I tend to put myself in a position where I am doing a lot of stuff for the boys. Sydney has taken the back seat quite often the past few years. She has always been there with us, but we've focused a lot of time on the boys activities. It is easier to bring a girl to a ball field than it is a boy to a pageant. It is easier to bring a girl to a basketball court than it is to bring three boys to a swim meet.... It is just honest and it is easier. Sometimes it is hard to do the hard things. Even though Sydney has participated in these things, the fuss has always been more about getting her to watch them than to get them to watch her. 

The other night,Sydney and I were talking and she asked me when she could do another pageant. I knew she had a good time, and I knew she had enjoyed all of the activities that have come with it, but I didn't think she would want to do another one. So, I asked why she liked it so much. Without hesitation, she held my hand and said, "because I loved having you to myself mama. And I loved it being just you and me." I let her know how much I loved that too. 

The past few months, it has been obvious that she has been drawn to me a little more than usual. She will ask me if her and I can do things alone, and tells me she enjoys being around me. MAMA'S,  let me say this.... soak it all in... Even though I don't ever remember a time I didn't want to be around my Mama, I know a time will come when I am aggravating to her.  I know one day, I will reach over to snuggle her close at night, and she will not want me in her bed. And I know in about 9 years from now, I will walk in her room and the mess won't be there and the bed will be made and instead I will have to call her while she is away at college. 

I have a tendency to NOT live in the moment. I let life get me frazzled and I get caught up in our day and I am not always remembering to just STOP and soak in what I have in front of me. But I am trying. I am trying to be more aware that these days with her (and my boys) are fleeting and one day, there will be no little girl to take to softball or a swim meet. There will be no little girl to ask me to lay her down, or braid her hair or to go through the starbucks drive through so she can get a frozen drink she won't even like. One day, she will be writing something like this about her little girl, and I hope she remembers how to love because SHE was loved. 

My Mama is by far the best Mama that God ever made. (sorry folks, you probably thought yours was.) She cuddled me, scratched my back, went through Bojangles to get a large french fry to share with me at 9pm at night, just because I asked her to. She would ride me around to see all of my friends, let me have endless sleepovers and she never cared about the mess we made. I believe that is why I always love being with her, and I have never been tired of her. She had rules, but she and my daddy made life fun... Never stressful.... and NEVER EVER EVER EVER let "life" and the stresses of life get ahead of how they loved us. I pray every day to be that parent to my kids. I pray even more so that Sydney feels that way about me one day. Even though I fail daily at being her Mama, she is so forgiving, and she is the best daughter I could have ever asked for. I will continue to strive to be the Mama that she will one day want to be too. 

Fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers be good to your daughters too