This journey has been full of emotions that take you high and low. My main goal was to give Preston his childhood back. I will be honest and say that through all of the praying I did, I also did a lot of demanding to God. I told him what we were going to do. I begged him that he stayed on my plan and didn't have a different one for Preston. I went in to complete planning mode. I remember crying when I would slow down, but I think I have done more crying this week than I did the entire last year. It sneaks up on me too. I will see Preston walking down the hallway and his limp is barely there, it makes me gasp and thank God he allowed us this opportunity.
I know God gave me a lot of grace last year. I know he heard my heart and knew that I was so angry. He is such a merciful God.... because if I were Him, I would have been ashamed of me. I told him exactly what I needed to happen. I told him Preston couldn't handle the pain of not being able to do all of the things little boys love to do.... Reality was, I didn't think I could handle watching him learn to do new things while watching other kids do the things Preston loved to do. Preston is ultimately God's child and God knows what Preston could and couldn't do. I am so thankful that he didn't choose to teach me this lesson at Preston's expense.
So here we are a year later. We are past the external fixator, we are past the removal, we are past the non-weight bearing, we are past the no running and no jumping, we are past going to Physical therapy a few times a week and now are a few times a month. We are now at a point where Preston still has pain, but nothing like he had, We are now at a point where Preston was able to be on the basketball court and baseball field, even if it wasn't how he used to be. And we are most certainly at a point where on a daily basis I am screaming, "Preston! Stop running! Stop chasing your brother around the house!!!" We are at a point where I hear the basketball in the driveway bouncing and I look out the window to see he and his brother's throwing a baseball to each other. Thank GOD this is where we are.
I never would have imagined this is where we would be one year later, but it is exactly where I begged God to let us be. What a merciful merciful God he is.
