Isn't he just beautiful.... Just beautiful. And perfect in every single way. After I delivered Tate, I remember looking at him and thinking... God's Plan is Always Bigger than ours. Here is a perfect example of him proving himself time and time again.... After Preston, our family was complete. I would see pregnant ladies and think..WHOAAAAA they are cute and they make me tired. Then on one September day in 2013, although Preston was cute, sweet and my baby....I found out he wasn't the last....
This little gift from God.... He makes me tear up just looking at him. God knew the desires of my heart ever since I was a little girl. I knew I was born to be a Mama. You can ask my Mama. I wanted to be just like her. In every single way possible. I wanted to look like her, walk like her, talk like her.... And talk to my friends on the phone about "U CALL REFERRAL." That was a business my Mom and her best friend owned.... The only thing I wanted different was I wanted 4 kids instead of 3..... I am pretty sure when I met Chad I told him I wanted 4 kids. He says I wanted 5... If they were all as sweet as Tate, I would take 10.... But I digress.... After we got married, we had Cole, then Sydney, then Preston... Then I was tired. Exhausted.Worn out. I was working full time and trying to take care of 3 very small kids. Cole was 3.5 when Preston was born. Sydney was 17 months and I was in a whirlwind of just keeping my head above water.... I knew Preston would be the last one because first, the doctors told me I shouldn't have anymore kids. I had 3 c-sections and it wouldn't be safe to carry another child.... On top of that, I wasn't getting younger and neither was Chad, and there was no way on God's Green Earth I could have had another one so close in age. So, we were happy and blessed and done....
I never thought about HAVING another baby after that. I was content with our 3 blessings... but I would sometimes wonder what it would be like to have the 4 I always imagined I would have.... Then I would get tired just thinking about it.... When Preston was 2 and 3 he would tell me he wanted a baby brother. I would laugh and tell him he was the baby. Well, God also knew the desires of that sweet boys heart too. These pictures of my kids holding Tate says it all... He completed us....
I don't know if it is because I am older, or because I am more aware of how time slips right by us.... But this time around has been so bitter sweet.... I have enjoyed every minute with him. Even through the cries and restless nights. I hold him and I just look at his precious face and I thank God for him. Every. Single. Time......
Do I feel like I am pulled in 4 different directions????? YEP. Every single day... Do the kids get upset because I have to tell them to hold on while I change his diaper or feed him??? YEP. Every single day. Am I split between 4 kids and a husband???? YEP. Every single day... But I love EVERY.SINGLE.MOMENT. Having Tate has made me appreciate my time with Cole, Sydney and Preston even more. When I had the first three, I was working outside of the home and we had a babysitter (more like a LIFESAVER) come to our home everyday. For me, (I insert a disclaimer here...... working moms rock and I was one for 5 years... we all handle our lives and families differently) I was worn out. I would work, get home at 5, feed the kids, play for a little bit, bathe them and put them to bed. I am such a scheduler that I very rarely STOPPED to enjoy the moments. I am a list person... sometimes, my kids were part of my list. Once we decided I would not be going back to work, I realized I had my entire life on a list and it was time to get rid of the list and live in the moment with my kids. Soak up every moment I could with them. I feel like since having Tate, God gave me that chance back. I have been able to soak up the moments with him and remember all the moments with Cole, Sydney and Preston. I have been able to do away with my list and just try and enjoy all of the moments. Even the moments when they are fighting with each other... even when they are mad at me for making the best decisions for them....even when they ignore me and wear me slam out. Even when I look like death has run me over and decided to back up and run me over again... I thank God for allowing me to have this experience with these sweet blessings..
Psalms 20:4 May he give you the desires of your heart and make all your plans succeed.
Psalms 37:4 Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Jeremiah 1:5 Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.
My heart was full..... and when you were born, it became more full..... If I had to give one piece of advice to any new mom, old mom, experienced mom, or a soon to be mom.... It would be to SOAK IT UP. EVERY MOMENT YOU CAN.... If you stay home or plan to stay home, take a break for your self every so often so you can soak it all up.. put away your phone, save the laundry for tomorrow and just soak it up.... If you work outside of the home, when you get home to your family.. don't put them on your list. Put away your phone, your computer, your really really bad day the laundry can wait.... and SOAK UP EVERY MINUTE YOU CAN. It doesn't matter if they are a new born, 8 years old, or 18 years old. Just soak it up. Love all over them. Let them know they matter, they are important, and they were made just for you....
