Invisible

This Angela Thomas Study has really spoken to me.... It is as if she took a deep look in to my heart and started writing. Now, I will say that each week when I read the title, I think... maybe this one won't hit so close to home this time.... Not so much.

This weeks title was I am Invisible....CLEARLY not for me... I mean really... 3 kids, a husband, starting a new business, active in my Church, love my friends... ME? Invisible? Yep. Me! Invisible! This really goes to show that the outward appearance of someone is exactly that. An Appearance.

She touches on so many things, so I will name a few. Have you ever felt invisible in a new class at school? In your cubicle at your job? Do you lie in bed at night beside your husband to only feel invisible? Maybe you rock your baby to sleep at night while no one notices your hard work? Has there ever been a time when you were in a group of people where someone was talking to you while looking over your shoulder and you felt they were looking for someone more important than you? And when that other person showed up.... You felt invisible?

YES! YES I have. I think it is so hard for me when I feel invisible because I don't like to be invisible. Not because I enjoy for attention to be on me, but because growing up, my parents always made me feel VERY SEEN. :) I have always been the loud mouth of the group and invisible was not what I was. I am sure there were many times they wished I was!

As I look back (and even forward) on when I feel invisible, it stings.... For me, there have been sooo many times. Although my parents would always tell me I was pretty, I never felt it. I mean, I do have 2 eyes and a mirror. I think around 7th grade I started feeling like I wasn't very pretty, even when my mom would tell me how pretty my freckles were and how she loved my eyes. Even today she says she never told me that to make me feel good, she told me that because I was.... thanks mom.... everybody needs a mom like you.  Sooo, for me, feeling invisible in a crowd wasn't abnormal, but I guess I always thought that it was just normal.

I have always been very successful in any job I have had. I never really felt invisible because I was confident in what I did... Until my last job. In December when I received the call that we were going through lay offs... guess what.... I suddenly felt invisible. That was a feeling I will never forget. It was as if the past 4 years of hard work went un noticed. NOW, I will say that I know deep in my heart that God's hand was at work during that time. Being laid off was probably one of the biggest blessings I have received other than my children and my husband... But at the time, I was truly invisible.

I could go on and on and on about feeling invisible when I have my hair in a pony tail, my sweat pants on with baby throw up down my back..... And how there are nights I lay in the bed beside Chad and I am talking to him and I hear a snore..... Invisible? Pretty much....... But I think you get the picture here.

So, Angela Thomas puts it all into perspective..... Although we may feel invisible.... we are never invisible to God. Our Father, our protector, the one who loves us more than we could begin to love our own kids. I love this part of the study. She asked to insert your name and I have.

Kendall, he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. Kendall, the Lord watches over you- the Lord is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. Kendall, the Lord will keep you from all harm- he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore... Psalms 121: 3-8

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but he has given us a spirit of power and of love and of calm and well balanced mind and discipline and self-control. 2 Tim 1:7