Rather a Holy Roller than a Hypocrite

That was pretty strong..... But how true??? Sunday, Grant Staubs preached and I personally thought it was an amazing service.... At one point during service, he was giving an example of being a Christian and how we can be perceived. He made mention of how you are viewed in the work place or in social environments.. Do we stand up for what we believe or do we go with the flow to avoid being called a Holy Roller??

Hey, Rather a Holy Roller than a hypocrite... that's what he said and I gave an under the breath Amen to that one.... Holy Roller, Bible beater.... don't they go as one in the same? I remember growing up and thinking those Bible beaters get on my nerves. I don't want anyone shoving the bible in my face and telling me what I am doing wrong. I mean really, who wants to go with out make up and have to wear their hair long and in a bun and a skirt to your ankles and shirts that cover up to your neck in the summer???? Ha! Kendall, did you think they were trying to turn you Amish ????? I was just ignorant to what I was refusing... It is funny now to look back and see how much I didn't know.

The reason I loved this sermon is because it really made me think... When I was working outside of the home, it wasn't a question what my beliefs were. I had many people come to me and ask me to pray for them for certain reasons, and would ask me questions about different things when it came to religion. I have shared the gospel with many of them. I was never afraid I would be looked at differently, but nor did it bother me if they did.... Here on earth I get to choose.... Risk someone thinking I am not cool.... OR risk not sharing what I know about Jesus and heaven... In the end, it wasn't the cool guy that I answer too.... It is the BIG guy, so I would choose the less cool thing to do. I can't really recall ever being singled out for it either. BUTTTTT I can guarantee you I would have been singled out if I were the hypocrite... You know, the one saying "trust in the lord with your problems!" While I sit in the corner and drink my problems away... I am sure I would be "that" Christian who is such a hypocrite... Just sayin..

So, back to my reasoning for saying this. When I was a new Christian, I was on fire for the Lord. I wanted everyone to know about what I had missed out on... As you grow in your walk, you go one of two ways... You either ignite your fire, or your fire fizzles... why would we let our fire fizzle? Jesus didn't let his fire fizzle for us as he hung on the cross... beaten to a pulp..... names being thrown at him.... waiting to die... All of this for us... But most of us think, well... God loves us too much to do blah blah blah... Or would you refuse your child if he did something against you? Then why would God? I ask, Why would God send his only begotten son to die for our sins... Yes, hang there so WE can live and take our pains and our lashes and you can't give him more than a "God loves me too much????"  As a Christian, it is our duty to love on others, including and especially the unsaved. They deserve hope just as much as we do... some more than we do..... If you are a Christian, and you are a hypocrite, who are you bringing closer to God? Who are you sharing your testimony and the Gospel with? Or are you afraid too because you haven't lived your life for him since becoming a Christian? Instead you have lived your life for others or for our own selfish nature and now you are afraid of being called a hypocrite?

If there was someone you barely knew and you heard them screaming inside of a Burning building... would you keep walking or would you try to help them? Then why wouldn't you help them outside of that burning building and share what you know with them to keep them from being in that burning hell for eternity? If it is because you have been hypocritical in your walk, then it is time you get back on track and let it make your testimony stronger... You show you are as human as the next and the Sheppard will always bring you back to where you should be...

So, if I have to choose, I am sticking to the fact that there is no limitation to save by many or by few..... I rather be a Holy Roller than a hypocrite... What about you???

His Heart Is Pure

On Friday night, August 26th, 2011 my precious Cole decided it was time.... We were sitting at the dinner table, just He, Syd, Preston and myself talking about what ever came up.... Last Sunday our Awana's program at Church started back for the new semester. Cole is so proud, he is a SPARK! When we picked him up, he couldn't wait to tell me the verse he learned... For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life... John 3:16. Now, for those of you who know Cole (or even me, because I talk about him all of the time) would say, of course he can remember that! He is smart! BUT when he said it, I thought, That is really good because it is really long. So, I pulled out the little book that they gave him and started to read it. It is a little story about SPARK getting lost in the dark. It goes on to talk about God sending his son to die for our sins, and how we couldn't take the punishment for ourselves... It goes into depth about trusting Jesus to be our Lord and Saviour.... I thought, how cute.... maybe this planted a little seed... I wasn't really prepared for the seed it planted.

Back to Friday night.... Cole asks me a few questions about heaven. I thought it was just his curiosity. Every morning, we pray as a family before Chad leaves for work. Cole says to me, Mommy... In the morning, does daddy ask Jesus in his heart when we pray. I said, no, Daddy asked Jesus in his heart a long time ago. But every morning Daddy ask Jesus to keep us safe and he thanks him for coming into our heart. Cole ask me a few more questions about people who don't ask Jesus in their heart. I wasn't really sure where to go with this one since he is only 5, soon to be 6. So, I kind of steered away from the question and tried to change the subject. Cole brings the subject right back. He ask me why some people don't ask Jesus in their heart. I explained to him that not all people go to Church and many choose to live a different life than Jesus wants us to live.... In a really serious voice, kind of low, he says, "Mommy.... I really want to ask Jesus into my heart... can I?" I nearly choked on my food. I was thinking, "does he know what he is asking???, does he understand yet???? Then I thought, how dare me question this. It is his little heart and when he is ready, I can't take that away from him.

I proceeded to tell Cole, you can ask Jesus in your heart when ever you are ready. You don't have to do it until you are ready and understand what it means. He tells me he understands what it means. It means that Jesus dies on the cross for our sins, and a sin is when we do something against the way God wants us to do it and when we ask him into our hearts, we are choosing to love Jesus. With tears in my eyes, I asked him if he wanted to do it right then. I could do it with him.... He says, No mommy. I want to wait for Daddy. He prays with us everyday, and I know he wants to hear it too.... Oh my sweet boy... I can't even begin to explain how much his honestly touches me, touches our family.... From the day I found out I was pregnant with him, I always knew he would be who he is. I loved him the moment I found out I was pregnant with him, as much as I love him now. Don't get me wrong, I love my other two this much as well, but I will save that for another blog....

So, Chad gets home and you can tell all night it has been on his mind. A few times I would ask him what he was thinking about and he would say, just Jesus mommy. We laid down for bed and he started his little prayer..... Lord, thank you for everything we have and everything we need.... Lord, will you please come into my heart????? And continued to bless the entire family..... Little does he know, he really blessed me.... I am laying there and I am thinking to my self, one day when we all die, he has assured me he will be heaven right there beside me and Chad......

You know, some people won't understand this, some will kind of understand, but not think it is as big of a deal as I know it to be.....and some will say he was just too young to understand... I say, you don't know my Cole and you don't know his heart... Jesus works in mysterious ways... I believe he has big plans for my praying warrior who doesn't eat a meal with out blessing it and doesn't close his eyes with out thanking God for putting us here and all together... His little heart is so pure... He has so much love for us, for his friends and for Jesus....

I know we may be different than a lot of families. I  have had friends, and co-workers ask me why I don't do some of the "social norms." This is why I don't.... It isn't because I think they are bad for doing the "social norms" or because I think I am too good because my Love for Jesus is better than theirs... Not at all... This is why I choose to live the way that I live. Our Children watch everysingle thing that we do... We have taught our children to pray in our house more than the normal blessing our food or saying the now I lay me down to sleep. We have taught them to trust Jesus in everything that they do. To pray about things before they are done. We have a weekly Bible Study in our home and our children see us opening up our house for others to learn about Jesus... These seeds are planted.. It doesn't matter how old they are... 2,3 or 5. They see you, they watch you, they mimic our every move. They want to be just like us... how could I choose to live any differently than I long for them to be???

Being A Brave Woman

This morning started a new Women's Bible Study at Church. I had considered skipping this session because I am a little overwhelmed lately with different responsibilities.... Yes, overwhelmed, tired, exhausted and..... WORN OUT..... Maybe next semester I will join in, I thought. I just need to get things in order and on a schedule and then we will see.... No plans to do it at all.

I get an email a few days ago from the person who is heading the study up.... It pretty much says, get ready for lesson one.... It is on being "worn out!" OH NOOOOO I said.... God! Do you hear me???? Not right now.... I am too busy..... I am too busy making my own plans.... doing my own things.... I already said I will do this next semester. Please don't let ANYTHING else in this study draw me to it, I just don't have the time right now..... So, I do a little research. Angela Thomas is the Author and BRAVE questions women ask... that is the title. So, I have a little discussion with God on this. I said, ok. I will go. BUT I am only going to go to this one day so I can come back and say, it really won't pertain to me this session....

I get in to class this morning, get my book and open it up... Dear Lord, I surrender to you. You win... The chapters go a little like this.
Week One- Why am I Worn Out
Week Two- I am Suffering a Thorn
Week Three- I am Undisciplined
Week Four- I am Trembling Inside
Week Five- I am Invisible
Week Six- I am Broken

Sure, don't we all want to say, My life is pretty perfect. I am a strong woman, a strong Mom, I have it all together. I am none of the above. Yea, right..... We had to go around the class and say which week we were either looking forward to or NOT looking forward to... As many of us are moms, wouldn't it be easy to say, Oh I am just worn out.... OR we could all be honest and say I am 2 or 3 or ALL of the above. I am not perfect and LORD speak to me through this study.  I mean really, who wants a room full of ladies to know that we are broken and feel invisible and have a thorn to deal with? As Lou Ann put it best, you don't want your situation to be someone else's prayer request when really they were just telling someone else how "broken" you are!!!!

A little excerpt from the book is as follows: I had breakfast with my girlfriend yesterday, and she's just worn out. Her kids aren't babies anymore, but her exhaustion is completely understandable. Her family has been caught in the recession, like most of us, and they have found themselves with three houses, two of them for sale in a poor seller's market. The renter of one just decided to walk away from her lease yesterday. We sat together over pancakes, and I told her I would pray for a miracle. An hour ago she texted, " When it rain, it pours. My college sophomore just lost half of his financial aid for next semester. More prayers needed."

I share this because can't we fit our selves some way, shape, or form into this paragraph. Different story, Different situation, but the same circumstance???? Today, I learned It is very brave to finally say, "I am not superwoman."  Proverbs 30:1 says, "The man declares, I am weary, O God; I am weary, O God , and worn out."  OHHHH how I can relate to this. I can relate to being sooo worn out. But I can also relate to many more. Today is just the first day of the study. I have 6 weeks to dig a little deeper into myself. I am a little afraid to get into each chapter because I am sure I will see where I am broken, where I feel invisible, where I feel a thorn and will be trembling inside...

Being a stay at home Mom for the past 8 months has really brought out many of these feelings in myself. Before when I was working, I still would have these feelings at times, but I was Needed outside of the home and for me it was easier to not have these feelings. More than anything, I wanted to be a SAHM. MORE THAN ANYTHING..... I believe God made this possible, and in the meantime he has taught me a lesson. He is teaching me to deal with emotions that will bring me closer to him. Two other excerpts from this lesson brings me to believe this. One is, "trust that God is always working in the unseen for your joy and His glory will transform the timid heart into a brave one." Another one is, Our Redeemer pursues, loves and restores broken women. I want to live every day brave for his glory.

Lord, You have humbled me more than once and every time I think I am back in charge, you show me that I need you every step of the way. Thank you for humbling me Lord. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for not only having me need you, but for being there to get me through.... It is a scary world to be all alone in and truth is, we are never alone....

You need some help with dat der tire????

My love of a southern accent..... Today, the little ones and I were walking, and Cole was riding his bike. It never fails in the same spot, Cole's training wheel starts to loosen. All of the sudden, it is completely loose and he falls over... (not to mention, he learned to ride with no training wheels a few months back. After a hard fall, he went back to his trainin wheels.... per his request.) A boy was passing by us and I hear him holler out.... "You need some help with dat der tire?????" I couldn't help but laugh. He didn't look familiar and our neighborhood isn't THAT big. I asked if he lived in the neighborhood. He said, "no mam, justa visitin.... I'm from Warsaw." I wanted to ask if his name was Opie, but he was too cute to pick on. AND,  I am pretty sure there are many who want to ask if my name is Opie when they hear me speak.

Cole was staring at this 8 or 9 year old boy as he wrestles with Cole's training wheel. He says, "mam, I think I know whats da problem here." I said, "well... please tell me, I really need the opinion of an expert like yourself ;)." He says, "mam, you got some cheap training wheels.... these types of training wheels are just made cheap. Dey don't really make good training wheels deese days." I had to contain myself from busting out laughing... He says, "mam, If I were you, I'd get dem training wheels like my diddy got me. You know, they have dat bar dat goes in between dem. Dey real good. I hate to tell you dat, but it's the problem for sure."

Needless to say, Cole was in tears when we walked away. He was upset that his daddy and I put cheap training wheels on his bike... after I tell Cole they aren't cheap training wheels, Cole turns around and shouts at the boy "HEY! MY MOMMY SAYS THEY AREN'T CHEAP!!!!!"

So, the next time your training wheels fall off, just know that if you need some help with dat der tire,.... your training wheels were probably just cheap. :)

My Mama

When you think back to growing up, most of your childhood memories include your Mama and Daddy. For some, it is their biological parents, some... their adoptive parents, and some... A man and woman who really made a difference in their lives.  All I know is, I sure do love my Mama.... I mean really, who could take the place of your Mama?

For me, My Mama has had an impact on most of every single thing in my life.... I can tell you, growing up, I thought life was perfect. Home was safe, home was fun, Mama and Daddy were always with us. They never really left us with babysitters. Usually My Mah (grandmother) would come and watch us if my parents had plans, but other than that, we were always with my parents. Very rarely do I remember my parents getting frustrated with us. I am pretty sure that they did, because I mean..... well.... I guess I was pretty close to being a perfect child :).... but none the less, I am sure we got on their nerves every once and a while. BUT they always included us happily in everything they did. They absolutely LOVED us! Or at least that is the way I felt.

Growing up, my Mama and Daddy always gave us fun, but simple, birthday parties... you know a slumber party with about 45 hungry girls! The next day, we always went to the State Fair, and Daddy always rode the big rides with me... We would go the lake every summer and camp and water ski.... Every Christmas, my Daddy always made sure we were home to enjoy our gifts, and we alllllwwwwaaayyysss did... Mama usually stayed out all Christmas Eve finishing, (or maybe even starting) her Christmas shopping.... We always put out the bags with candles in them around the neighborhood.... and SEVERAL times during the Christmas holiday, we would ride around and see the Christmas lights.....

One specific thing I always remember my Mama did was tell me how beautiful I was.... and I swear, I think she believed it.... She would go on and on and on about how pretty my dress looked on me and my hair and my make up and my shoes...... I look back now at MANY of those pictures that included all of these compliments and I laugh.... BY NO MEANS is that pretty.... BUT she believed I was, so I believed I was. I also laugh because I always ask her why somebody didn't tell me to loose some weight or brush my hair or pluck my eyebrows.... to this day, she still says, "because you were beautiful." I always remember this when I am talking to my children. I always tell them how beautiful I think they are... apparently it works because Syd says, "you already told me that mommy."

When I was in college, I wanted to come home every weekend to see my parents. There was nothing I loved more than sleeping with my Mama and getting my head and back scratched and rubbed... Eating food from home, and just feeling safe...

When I bought my first house, My Mama was the first one to give me her approval. By no means would I have bought something she thought wasn't right for me.... When Chad and I got engaged, of course My Mama was the first I called and the one to help plan my wedding... And YES, every dress I put on she would say, "Kendall, you look so beautiful." Then I was pregnant with Cole.. Then Syd.... Then Preston and each time she would say, "Kendall, you look so beautiful."

She stayed up all night with Cole after I had him because I was afraid for him to go to the nursery.... They could have taken him to another hospital for 8 hours and I wouldn't have ever know because I was passed out from all the medication during surgery... But she didn't let them take him.. Instead, she held him all night... When I had my gallbladder removed and had major complications, she stormed the hospital floors waiting for answers... After I had Sydney and Preston, she came and stayed as long as I needed her.....

My children love her so much and so do I. She comes here so I can take simple phone calls, or so I can go to the doctor, or any excuse I really have..... they will all get her in the car to drive 2 hours....

If it was up to me, we would move back to Greenville and I could see my Mama and Daddy every day... I hope Cole, Syd and Preston have these memories about me...Ezekiel 16:44 "As is the mother, so is her daughter."

This is what you get.....

This is what you get when you leave a 3 year old in the den with her 5 year old brother while you are starting dinner.....

From Right to Left, Mommy, Daddy, Cole, Sydney and Preston... courtesy of Syd...

The giggles of 3....

Yesterday brought me and the kids so many giggles... How blessed I am! We really didn't have much on the schedule. Just the usually, dropping off at school, taking walks, playing with play dough and coloring, making the beyblades crash into each other, running errands and picking back up from school..... BUT it doesn't take much around here to keep us in stitches.... counting my little blessings, because my cup overflows...

It all starts with the amount of times Sydney changes clothes... Many people have said, "that would drive me crazy! I would put a stop to it!" OHHHH... go fly a kite! It is hilarious. She always dresses herself first thing in the morning, so proud of what she puts on. A couple of times through out the day she will end up in some long pants and a sweat shirt. She tells me she likes being hot. Then she will put on tennis shoes and socks and get down the stairs and say her feet are COLD, so she takes them off and puts on her flip flops.... Sure it creates a lot of laundry, but most of the time she changes and put what she had on back into her draw, so you never even knew it was out. :) I like to assume she will be a fashionista in her adult life....

Sydney will boss Preston around  and you will hear him screaming NOOOOOOO all morning. She picks him up, she drops him... he laughs... with his belly. He loves it! Cole takes his PJ's off and will walk around with just his underwear on for a while. When I tell him to put his clothes on 75 times, he will say, "sorry mommy. I keep telling my brain to do it, and my Brain keeps telling me not to." Sorry... I think that is funny. I used to be so uptight, and still can be, but who really cares and what does it hurt? That is my new motto. Choose your battles, If it doesn't hurt anyone, that one is no longer a battle.

We had to drive Chad's truck yesterday because someone hit me in the carpool line and Chad had my car getting an estimate.... On our way to pick Cole up from school, Syd said she wanted to watch a movie. I told her daddy didn't have a DVD player in his car... She was serious and said, "Mommy, daddy isn't working... He is sitting in the back of your car watching a movie!" I could only imagine it. :)

After dinner, the kids and I went to Dairy Queen and this is where our giggles were loud. First, we walk in and the people in front of us WON'T move up, so Cole cuts in front of them. He looks up at the man and says, "you weren't moving.." I probably should have told him it was rude, but hey, he was right.... We get our Ice Cream and go outside to eat. I take a few bites and I realize my banana split blizzard has no bananas or strawberries... Sydney decides she is going to go in and get my bananas and strawberries because "that's not right mommy! they shouldn't do that to you!" So glad I have a fighter in the group! The night goes on from Cole telling me "that nice Chinese lady has a nice Conmyrtle (convertible)" to Preston trying to kill flies with his spoon, Sydney saying, "don't drink all of my sprite" over and over again like rain man.... Cole tells me story about a a boy at school that stinks named David that later I learned didn't even exist and he thought that was a great joke to tell... and Preston "inks" me while crying for throwing away his melted ice cream...

All of these giggles are a typical day in our house... sometimes they go un-noticed... shame on me. Sometimes I am so worn out from a day of trying to keep the giggles from turning into tears, that I forget to stop and enjoy them... Up until December, when I quit working outside of the home, I missed alot of those giggles... BUT I would always get a playback from Debbie as to how these giggles happened, who laughed, who cried, and who laughed again... she appreciated the giggles..... I am learning to slow down and enjoy those giggles too, because they sure are funny!