Being A Brave Woman

This morning started a new Women's Bible Study at Church. I had considered skipping this session because I am a little overwhelmed lately with different responsibilities.... Yes, overwhelmed, tired, exhausted and..... WORN OUT..... Maybe next semester I will join in, I thought. I just need to get things in order and on a schedule and then we will see.... No plans to do it at all.

I get an email a few days ago from the person who is heading the study up.... It pretty much says, get ready for lesson one.... It is on being "worn out!" OH NOOOOO I said.... God! Do you hear me???? Not right now.... I am too busy..... I am too busy making my own plans.... doing my own things.... I already said I will do this next semester. Please don't let ANYTHING else in this study draw me to it, I just don't have the time right now..... So, I do a little research. Angela Thomas is the Author and BRAVE questions women ask... that is the title. So, I have a little discussion with God on this. I said, ok. I will go. BUT I am only going to go to this one day so I can come back and say, it really won't pertain to me this session....

I get in to class this morning, get my book and open it up... Dear Lord, I surrender to you. You win... The chapters go a little like this.
Week One- Why am I Worn Out
Week Two- I am Suffering a Thorn
Week Three- I am Undisciplined
Week Four- I am Trembling Inside
Week Five- I am Invisible
Week Six- I am Broken

Sure, don't we all want to say, My life is pretty perfect. I am a strong woman, a strong Mom, I have it all together. I am none of the above. Yea, right..... We had to go around the class and say which week we were either looking forward to or NOT looking forward to... As many of us are moms, wouldn't it be easy to say, Oh I am just worn out.... OR we could all be honest and say I am 2 or 3 or ALL of the above. I am not perfect and LORD speak to me through this study.  I mean really, who wants a room full of ladies to know that we are broken and feel invisible and have a thorn to deal with? As Lou Ann put it best, you don't want your situation to be someone else's prayer request when really they were just telling someone else how "broken" you are!!!!

A little excerpt from the book is as follows: I had breakfast with my girlfriend yesterday, and she's just worn out. Her kids aren't babies anymore, but her exhaustion is completely understandable. Her family has been caught in the recession, like most of us, and they have found themselves with three houses, two of them for sale in a poor seller's market. The renter of one just decided to walk away from her lease yesterday. We sat together over pancakes, and I told her I would pray for a miracle. An hour ago she texted, " When it rain, it pours. My college sophomore just lost half of his financial aid for next semester. More prayers needed."

I share this because can't we fit our selves some way, shape, or form into this paragraph. Different story, Different situation, but the same circumstance???? Today, I learned It is very brave to finally say, "I am not superwoman."  Proverbs 30:1 says, "The man declares, I am weary, O God; I am weary, O God , and worn out."  OHHHH how I can relate to this. I can relate to being sooo worn out. But I can also relate to many more. Today is just the first day of the study. I have 6 weeks to dig a little deeper into myself. I am a little afraid to get into each chapter because I am sure I will see where I am broken, where I feel invisible, where I feel a thorn and will be trembling inside...

Being a stay at home Mom for the past 8 months has really brought out many of these feelings in myself. Before when I was working, I still would have these feelings at times, but I was Needed outside of the home and for me it was easier to not have these feelings. More than anything, I wanted to be a SAHM. MORE THAN ANYTHING..... I believe God made this possible, and in the meantime he has taught me a lesson. He is teaching me to deal with emotions that will bring me closer to him. Two other excerpts from this lesson brings me to believe this. One is, "trust that God is always working in the unseen for your joy and His glory will transform the timid heart into a brave one." Another one is, Our Redeemer pursues, loves and restores broken women. I want to live every day brave for his glory.

Lord, You have humbled me more than once and every time I think I am back in charge, you show me that I need you every step of the way. Thank you for humbling me Lord. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for not only having me need you, but for being there to get me through.... It is a scary world to be all alone in and truth is, we are never alone....